I want to give Christmas back to Christ!

I have to share this blog post from an amazing women! I want to implement these things into our life! I want to teach our children the true meaning of Christmas.
The Christmas Conundrum

5

So it's been five months! We are still praying for you! We are still wondering what you will look like, how old you will be? What sounds you will make that we will never forget. We will never stop PRAYING even when you get here!

We got positive new yesterday from Holt! Praise God!! We needed anything positive! Again Praise God! They have received some referrals! God is Good! Some is so better that none! This is what we have been praying for! Praying that God would move in Ethiopia!

Lord you have never given up on us! Thank you! Lord you hold us all so close to your heart! Thank you for being our courageous leader!

I have FAITH!

Ephesians 2:8

New International Version (NIV)

⁸ For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God

I have been struggling with all of the disappointing and heartbreaking news about the Ethiopian program almost coming to a stand still. Thinking  that we might never get to meet our third CHILD! I have wondered if we were on the right path? Is this what God is asking? Maybe we heard him wrong. I had almost lost hope ! All most lost FAITH.

I was listening to a sermon series online this morning that truly brought me to my knees. The verse in Ephesians that says by FAITH you have been saved, not by your work, not by yourself. By FAITH! Faith  got us hear, by believing that this is what God wants for us! FAITH is what saves us !! How could I possibly give up on what Jesus gave us!! Jesus who was sinless took all of our sin so that by FAITH we could be saved!!

So by the grace of God and FAITH alone I am standing in front of this mountain until it moves! I will not give up hope or FAITH because I know that our little Ethiopian child needs us to !! That is what
we have been called to do, by Faith!! 

4 Months

So Saturday was our fourth month on the waiting list! We still have a long way to go!! All the news we are getting from our agency is not the greatest! Referrals have almost completely stopped! "YUCK" So we are praying that the Ethiopian government will quickly get things figured out! My heart longs for our child to come home! I can't wait for Gods perfect timing! The best part is yet to come, I know! I want to start getting things that we might need but, I have no Idea what that will be! Baby stuff? Girl stuff ? Toddler stuff ? Boy stuff ? Gods knows and he is telling me to be still. Wait for him!

Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

What if ?

What if God gave you a gift! Sounds good right? What if this gift could teach you the true meaning of love? What if this gift would change your life? You are going to fall so deeply in love with this gift! It is going to consume your life with joy! This gift will touch the lives of many! Even change the lives of many!!
But... here comes the but! What if he said that not only will this gift fill you with more love and joy than you could ever Imagine but it is going break your heart over and over! Pain you have to feel everyday. You won't get to see this gift grow like all the other gifts you see. Your gift is going to be different. This gift is going to change everything, good and bad. You will never take for granted another second. With out this gift you would not be the same person you are today!

I don't understand why some people have to suffer so much? I don't understand what the outcome may be. But whenever you put one foot in front of the other you are doing exactly what God is asking. God is not asking you to change the world he asking you to take care oh his gifts!

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It's been a while!

     So I guess I have not done this in a while, a long while! Once the kids got out of school for the summer I could not find time to get to the computer. So now they are back to school! It was a very busy summer to say the least. The kids got to stay home with a sitter. They were pretty excited about that. They got to spend time at both Grandparents houses. They got spoiled rotten, for sure! Josh broke his hand, it is healing well! Oh yea, I got to go to UGANDA AFRICA!!!

     Africa was amazing! The people where amazing, kind and generous! I went with a group from church. We were there for 2 weeks. We went with Organization Children of the Nations International! A very special organization! They partner with nationals to raise orphan children to transform nations! It is all made possible through child sponsorship. Which at first I will admit I was not quit sure about. But God really opened my eyes and heart! Child sponsorship is very REAL. The money, the gifts, the letters you send really go to your sponsor child. Who are more excited about receiving them, than my children are about the McDonald's play land! It means the world to them! There is a great need for child sponsorship! If you want any more info please let me know!

     So in the ADOPTION world we have officially been on the waiting list for 69 days,or two months and 9 days! But who's counting! I will have to say that if the next 10 or so months go this fast I will be happy, I think? But if it goes fast Payton and Raegan will be through 2nd grade and Kindergarten! They will almost be 9 and 7 years old! Another summer will have come and gone.  As much I can't wait for our sweet blessing from Ethiopia. I want to absorb this time with my family. I don't want to get through today just to go though tomorrow. This is the time God has given us, I am so thankful! What I learned this summer, While I was in Africa. Is that, when I was all the way around the world. God was still with me. Protecting me, holding me, guiding me! He was also with my family, with Josh in Lincoln healing his hand, with Payton and Raegan at both Grandparents houses keeping them safe. With my sister and her very special family! God is bigger than I will ever know! I never felt like God had left me or that he was taking care of business somewhere else. What I got to see was God working everyday!! So I know that he is in Ethiopia holding the mother of our 3rd child, comforting her like only God can do. That he is planning our precious babies life right down to second that we will get that referral!!! So I will take each day like the blessing it is! Because I know that soon God will complete our family. To his liking and his plan! To God be the Glory!

Reassurance

I have to say that I am in constant awe of God and how he works! He has constantly been reassuring us that we are on his amazing journey! I see reassurance everywhere! You know when you are looking to get a new car and you start paying attention to how many people actually have that car. Before, you buy it you don't see it much! But after you buy it you see it all the time! That is kinda what it has been like. But in a God sized way! I see him working through us! I see him working through our kiddos! We are about to begin the most patient part of our journey.  The part were we have no more paper work! Where we have absolutely no control only pure faith! I know along the way it will feel like we are standing still and I will hold on to the reassurance God has given to us! To God be the Glory!

Every Child Deserves a Home

What an Amazing song! We have an Appointment to get our finger prints!!! So excited!

Immigration

So we have submitted our Immigration petition to the USCIS!!! Which is another step in our adoption journey! We are so excited! I have to give so much of the credit to Josh. He has done pretty much all the paper work. I think he might like it. Ok so maybe I shouldn't go that far. He is good at it! So now we wait about 8 weeks for more finger printing.
Philippians 4
 ⁴ Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Focused

The words to this song keep me focused Lord ! Knowing that every step of this new path  has been molded by you, for our feet! As long as we stay focused on you and your way! I know that everyday is a blessing! That this adoption is your request and our story! Lord it is a long path and at times lonely and hard, not because we can not share it, but because is such a strong feeling in my heart. It is to hard to share with anyone but you! You know this feeling Lord, you are my heart!

Laura Story: Blessings
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
As long as we have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

Blessings

It has been a crazy busy week! But with my free ten minuets I just want to thank God for he all has given me! I am so thankful for all the people in my life. Everyone one of them have a purpose !

We have our third and final meeting with Bonnie our Social Worker next week ! I'm so excited to get to talk to her again. We watched  a movie she let us borrow. A Walk To Beautiful  What a movie!!  A Walk to Beautiful tells the stories of five Ethiopian women who suffer from devastating childbirth injuries and embark on a journey to reclaim their lost dignity. Rejected by their husbands and ostracized by their communities, these women are left to spend the rest of their lives in loneliness and shame. They make the choice to take the long and arduous journey to the Addis Ababa Fistula Hospital in search of a cure and a new life.

"Children Of God" - Official Music Video

This is an amazing video! The message is beautiful! Please keep the Ethiopian children and adoption families in your prayers . Their are some disheartening changes being made right now.

New Contacts!

So I it's funny because when I first meant Josh I had him get me colored contacts. I wanted different colored eyes. I have 20/20 vision so I only wanted them for cosmetic reasons. So for the first couple weeks when I would wear them things were a little blurry. I could still still see but my focus was kinda cloudy. I have always wanted glasses because it seemed like a fun accessory. I know crazy!


Now, I don't wear the contacts I really don't have the time or the energy to spend trying to change my eye color for fun. But It seems like God is giving me new contacts, I feel like I am looking at things for the first time. This feeling is still a little blurry to me. But I know the more I see the more clear it gets. What I have been blessed with is so much more than I will ever need. That what I take for granted every day, some will never have.  I am so thankful to be chosen ! I want to see the world God's way. God has chosen me!! Thank you God for choosing me! We are all adopted by God he wants us all to See through his colored contacts! He will give us the time and energy to see!!

Februrary 22 2011

We are getting ready to start our Home Study!!!!!

So over the weekend we had our PIP classes. (parents in process) It was not at all what I expected!!! First it was two days. I thought what can we really talk about for two day? TWO days was not long enough !!! We got to meet other families that are adopting from Ethiopia!!! We had our eyes opened to real world of adoption. The amazing life changing world of adoption. This is a journey for the rest of our lives not just the next two years!! We talked about the many questions that we will have to answer from the many different people  who are trying to understand this process. Many things that we learned were not easy to talk about but very important to talk about. Like racism, acceptance, and culture. Very sensitive subjects!

This morning we had a great talk with the kids. I have been praying for the right ways to introduce the Ethiopian culture to Payton and Raegan. So they understand  where our baby is coming from. What kinds of things are "normal" for children living in Ethiopia. It was a very casual conversation about the kinds of houses they live in. We showed them a picture from one of our Holt magazines. Let's just say that Raegan could not put it down she talked about every page in that magazine.In fact she took it with her to school! She wanted to show her teacher!

Lord I am thankful for your timing! I am in Awe of you! It may not always happen when we think it should but things happen when you know its right! Please Lord continue to guide us with Payton and Raegan so they will see adoption as you see it! Thank You Lord!

February 15 2011

What if you had to change the way you live?
What if you were asked to help someone who needs your help just so they can make it through?
What if your life is so amazingly hard that you thank God every night that you made it through that day? You are doing everything it takes to not break, but than God puts the Impossible in front of you. In fact it's not in front of you it's on top of you! There is no way you can do this!!! It is to much, you don't even have time to breath in fact sometimes you have remind your self to breath. You have to deal with this. Why?????? How do you close your eyes and see the bigger picture when you are starring down Impossible?

My friend you have to believe that God will not leave your side that he knows that you are suffocating ! He will give you that breath! He will not ask you to do anything he has not done! It is him who reminds you to breath and him who will warm your face by the sun! Please hold on to him my friend! He loves you!!! Please give him your fear that is what he is asking you to do! Don't listen to evil! Do not let evil win! Choose to See!!!
My friend I love you! I am praying for you!!!

Black eyed peas - where is the love (lyrics)

I just heard this last night on T.V. at the half time show of the super bowl. It is definitely different from what I would normally listen to but I am loving it!

JJ Heller - What Love Really Means (Official Music Video)

February 5 2011

Consuming Passion

I was taking the kids to school the other day and Mattew West's song " Motions " came on the radio and those words consuming passion hung in my head. I don't want to be going through the motions. I don't want my children to just go through the motions. I want God's consuming passion for us all!

We are awaiting our background checks and we have a class in Omaha in 2 weeks, then we should be able to get stared on our home study. Josh has been working on getting all kinds of paperwork together, everything from more notes from our doctor to more references. We are going to run out of people we know for references.

Why Ethiopia?

January 26 2011

Step Into Your Vision

Habakkuk 2:2 Then the Lord answered me and said: "Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it."
Dream Big. Take a step. A small step is still a step. Don't compare yourself with others. Don't even try to walk the same path that has worked for others. God has a custom-made path for each of us. Don't let others dictate to you who you are, how you are to do things and what things are supposed to look like. Be unique. Be different as you follow what the Lord drops in your heart. No one else will ever do something the way you will do it. We are all originals. Our paths are particular to who we are.
Be content with God's pleasure in what you are doing. Discover the vision God has for you. Allow Him to breathe on it with His Spirit. Find a joyful outlet for what He has put inside of you. Just be who He has created you to be, for no one else can. See yourself in the place He has called you to. Dream on it. Meditate on it. Give yourself to it as unto the Lord. Serve Him and others in the vision He calls you to, making Him Your creative Instructor. The Holy Spirit is the Helper and will help you. He who has done a good work in you will complete it.
Get Your Vision & Run With God!
John Belt
 This was sent to me by a very special person!!!! Thank you Donna  I Love you !

January 24 2011

30,000 children today will breathe their last breath due to either starvation or a
preventable disease.

 We are not inconvenienced by this extreme poverty because those stricken by it are

not only poor... they are powerless.

 Literally millions of them are quietly dying in relative obscurity and we

can comfortably ignore them in our affluence, pretending like they don’t even exist. 

I know that is Radical but is is true! It breaks my heart! I have been listening to a sermon series called Radical. It is so good!
The last week has been testing. We have stepped out in faith and believe that this what God had put on our hearts. But this is not a inexpensive process so the more we try to save and plan financially. The more Satan puts in front of us! God is good and he will be our rock!

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wont you be my love.wmv

January 16 2011

What a great Sunday! We had another amazing church service!

Josh and I went and got our finger prints on Friday. Which has changed since I remember getting finger prints. Not that I have had a lot of need to be finger printed . It is all scanned by a computer, of course! We go in tomorrow for our physicals. So no food or drink after midnight! Payton and Raegan have started to tell people that they are getting a new baby! Its something I want to scream  out to everyone, but it's not that easy. We are so excited and want everyone to know but we feel that it is God's great news to share and so when it feels right we tell people. I pray that God would surround our baby, protect, keep him/her safe and healthy … that He would open our babys heart to us and ours to our baby's (we don’t know if he/she is born or even conceived yet but God does … He knows our baby's name)! 

We had a Uganda meeting last night. I think it went really well, so much information to take in all at once. I need to keep praying that God will continue to help me understand all the pain and illness there. When he calls to us we must hear him and respond. Thank you Lord for not giving up on us. You are so good and faithful.   

wont you be my love.wmv 

January 12

So it has been a year since the Haiti Earthquake. Wow time goes by fast! A year ago  God put adoption on our hearts. It took us so long to listen! So many things go through my head now but I an starting to understand that this is all his plan he has been preparing us for this walk with him! I am going on a mission trip to Uganda Africa in July for about 2 weeks. Wow, is all I have to say! But what I am beginning to understand is that, Africa  is right where I am suppose to be! I have never gone on a mission trip ever, I considered meals on wheels a missions trip. I kept saying why Africa are you kidding me, REALLY AFRICA! But I understand better now! I'm listening Lord !!! Thank you for trusting me with your plans! I promise to do my best and with your help I can!

January 10th

So we have started our amazing adventure. We officially put in our application for international adoption! We choose to go with Holt International. We have been selfishly denying to listen to what God has been asking of us. With lots of prayer and many signs from our father above we are surrendering to Gods plan. It is amazing how good it feels to hear him talk to our hearts. I cant say what will happen next all I know is that we are faithful it will  be Gods will. So baby Engel we are anxiously waiting on the next step closer to you.

Hugs and Kisses Brigette
Once our eyes are opened we cannot pretend we do not know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls knows we know, and holds us responsible to act. Proverbs 24:12