Christmas Miracle

It all feels like a dream! Last night on our way to Christmas Eve service at church Raegan says,  "I really hope when I wake up in the morning this is not all a dream!!!! "

This morning we were all in our room Payton sleeping on the floor on Josh's side Raegan at the foot of the bed, and our Christmas miracle in the middle of Josh and I! He sits up and starts giggling and talking, bababah dahdah dah at 4 in the morning! We have a rule that we can't get out of bed Christmas morning until 6, but we must of forgot to tell this little one! He is up and ready and this is not a dream this is a Miracle!

This is Axum's first Christmas He loves the wrapping paper and sitting on top of the boxes. He had his first taste of Rusks and is now napping at 9:00! While the rest of us are playing with our new gifts.

I can't help but think of all the families still waiting to bring their precious miracles home. Still longing to be together or even be matched with the child that they pray for! I will pray for you all, God's will, will be done! Children will have families and families will be made.

Merry Christmas  &  Happy Birthday Jesus!

We are in Ethiopia!

So December 12th we found out that Axum's birth mother interview went good and that we were cleared!! Yep cleared!! So we very quickly put together travel plans and were on an airplane the 15th! Our Embassy exit interview was this morning the 17th!! We have Axum Aschalew Engel in our arms forever!!!!

When we picked him up from the Foster center this morning it went very well! I think he remembered us !! He still seems so little and is perfect! He is getting two more teeth on top! That will make 6 teeth!!!! He did amazing in the car and slept for most of the Embassy appointment! After that we ran to the market to get formula and cereal. Axum and I waited in the car while Josh and our driver Eshetu went in. Axum drank some water from a bottle and jibber jabbered to me  the whole time!!

 When we got back to the guest house he played a little bit and drank a bottle and ate some cereal!! He was getting so tired but didn't seem to be able to fall asleep in our arms, so I took him in and put him on our bed. I laid down with him, not on the floor of the foster center on a real bed!! He was so tired he would lay on his belly, and then sit up and kinda flop over and then stick his little biscuits in the air ! Repeated about 4 times until he finally feel asleep! Josh and I laid down with him and we all got a nap!

Lord I am so thankful! You have proven so many times that you are all we need! I am in awe of how much you love us! Thank you!

Submitted to Embassy

We were submitted to Embassy today! I am so excited I am having trouble breathing! I am trying to act like its no big deal! BUT ITS A HUGE DEAL! WE ARE GETTING SO CLOSE!  Over the last week I have been trying to take control of our "situation" planning how we are going to try to push this part faster! I have been a little crazy! We are so sooooo close and Christmas is also soooo close!

Yesterday at church  I felt God  asking me if  I stopped trusting him? I felt him saying It's his will be done not mine!! I knew that I had been fighting for that control! I had to give it back. He is the key holder, he will open and shut doors that need to be open or shut! Axum will come home when it's time. That is hard to say but I believe it with all my heart! I also know that my God is the God of Miracles, he can do anything! Everything is possible with my God! I do not want to take this last piece  of the story away from him! This is all for his Glory!! You know when you are so excited about giving someone a gift and you can't wait to see their face and how excited they are!! That's what He deserves, to be the one who gets that gift.

I feel like we are the top of this mountain, we just have to get down! I'm kinda afraid of heights so I want to get down really fast! I know that's kinda silly! 

Payton and Raegan told me tonight that they are willing to wait for Christmas if we have our Embassy exit interview right around that time! My heart is aching for the them, they can't wait to hold him!


Lord thank you for rescuing us all!! Thank you for opening our eyes! Thank you for blessing us with our beautiful children! Thank you for working through us!  Thank you for moving us! Thank you! Amen

Puzzle Pieces

So.......... Axum now has a Birth Certificate, a Passport and has had his medical appointment done by the Embassy!!!!! That is so huge! He has a BIRTH CERTIFICATE !! He could of lived his whole life in Ethiopia without a Birth Certificate!! It has our last name on it!! HE is an Engel! Praise God! That is another miracle! He has a PASSPORT!! You know one of those things you need to leave a country!! One of those things you need to come home! We should be submitted to Embassy on Monday! That means that we will  receive an email about an orphan investigation. This email means our file has been screened and passed on to an actual person!  This person will decide if they need to do an interview with his birth mother or anyone else, and then they will clear us. If they need an interview we will receive an email stating this.  Our Agency  will schedule the interview and get the person there. Then we will receive an email once that has happened and once our case has been cleared! They say this can take anywhere from 4-6 weeks (give or take 3-4 weeks) LOL! So really they don't really know and every case is different! And since Christmas is in there it might take a little longer who knows? God knows!!! And it will be perfect!

In the Bible James tell us that Every good and perfect gift comes from Above, from the Father of Heavenly lights.  This whole journey had been part of God's plan for our family! When I look back on life even before we even started our family 9 years ago, I see now that God has planned all of it and that if I would of be listening closer, so many things would not have been a surprise. He has put all of  the pieces together one by one. He will continue to do that for the rest of my life until that last piece is put together and hopefully he will be able to say TA DAAAA!!!!!  It has taken almost 2 years to come to the understanding that ,

James 1:12
Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when has stood the test he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Meaning that their will be MANY trials but when you face the trails with perseverance (faith) you will be rewarded. Maybe not here on Earth but in heaven!  Wow it took almost 2 years to get that!! I might be a slow learner. LOL!

So these last weeks of waiting might be the hardest part of this one little piece of our puzzle but, We will stand in Faith knowing that this is the will of our Father! We will try in this season if giving to not be polluted by the world in thinking that we need more than we do. We will teach our Children to look after one another. We are all Orphans and God has adopted us into his family.


We will bless our children with knowing that when you walk in faith that you will not do it alone! Life can be dark but out of the shadows comes light! Pure everlasting light!

Lord, thank you for your light! Thank you for loving us so much! Thank you for giving so generously to all!! Thank you for your good and perfect gifts!
Amen

Thankful

I am not worthy to be Loved by a king!
 I am not worthy to be saved, or forgiven, or renewed.

But I am !

I am Loved by the King, Loved like a daughter!
 I am forgiven for all that I fall short of !

I am renewed each time I am forgiven!

I am saved!
 I am Saved!
  I am Saved!

Over and over again you say you Love me !
 You hold me up and whisper "I am enough"

My King is more than enough! 

I am Thanful that everyday I am met by Savior as I get out of bed, and that as long as I walk in his Will he will shied me with his Grace!

Today is special!

A week ago today was the second day of getting to spend time with our little man ! We first had breakfast at the guest house, it was pancakes. They were rolled up and the syrup was all on the inside! Yummy, and of course we had coffee!! I love COFFEE! Then we went to the foster care center to see Axum! He was feeling better today, not to sure of us yet but not as scared! He is a really good sleeper! I think he would get so nervous  that he would just fall right asleep in our arms! One of God's blessings to a Momma is having a sleeping baby on her chest ! I was very blessed getting to sit and rub his back while and I prayed and told him that we are his mommy and daddy forever! And just like that our first two hours of quality time was over!! BOO!!!!

Shortly after lunch we had a meeting with Mr. Alemu our attorney. So our driver took us over to his office. It was just a brief meeting to go over the things that we could expect for court the next day! We sat in his office and, he told us that the judge would ask us a few questions and it was really no big deal. It felt like it was going to be a big deal! I asked him if we would be able to look at Axum's file, a stack of paper work in a folder on his desk. He said of course and handed it to us! Half of it was in Amharic and the other half in English. We found out what orphanage he came from which I was very happy to know. On our next trip we might be able to go see it and maybe find out more about our little man! We also found out that someone had given him a birthday! We had heard that before and didn't think anything of it, a cause it didn't feel right! Some random stranger sitting at a desk who just has to put a date  down so that his file could be complete. They really don't keep track of birthdays in Ethiopia so for him to not have a true or "real" birthday was "normal". Those are two words I really don't like. Any who, We felt different about this date , something seemed to fit! 11-14-11  still two months earlier than we had thought but it is the same month as Josh's birthday!! Payton, Raegan, and myself all the share the Birthday month of August! So it seemed like 11-14-11 was meant to be! Josh and Axum get to share a birthday month! And guess what????? That's TODAY!!  Our baby boy turns 1 TODAY!! My heart hurts knowing that we are missing celebrating it with him, but I know that we can celebrate when he gets home and we will not miss another one! Amen!!!! God is Good! He has two gifts waiting for him to open when he gets home! I can't wait to see him open them! I can't wait for him to be sitting in our living room crawling or walking and playing ! I can't wait to kiss him when ever I want!!

Soon little man, soon!!

And We are Back!!

What a amazing week we had in Addis! We got to meet our son! He is so precious! We got to Addis around 1 in the morning on Tuesday, all of our flights went well and all the bags made it! We were able to pack 3 bags FULL of donations for the foster home! That is 150 lbs of donations!! Woot Woot! Thank you to everyone who went out of your way to get us donation to take!! It means a lot!

So Tuesday we got checked into the Guest House and than went straight to the Foster Center!! We were so excited to get to meet Axum!   Their were two other families that were staying at the guest  with us, they both had sweet new daughters they were getting to know! Another family stayed at the Hilton and we enjoyed getting to know them also! It was fun to listen to how God is working through all of them!

So once we arrived at the foster care center we waited for them to bring him to us,   We were so excited and our emotions were all over the place! I could not believe this was happening! And THEN THERE HE WAS!!! HALLELUJAH !!!! One of his very special care takers handed him to me! He was very shy and held on very tight to me. I WAS HOLDING OUR SON! He was so little and quiet! He had no idea who the heck we were and why the heck we were smothering him with kisses and hugs! We tried to play a little with him but I'm pretty sure we were scaring him! He would just hang on to us and that was fine with me! We were able to visit for two hours in the morning and two hours in the afternoon. It was never enough time! He was always very curious of everything that was going on around us. He has the most amazing smile it lights up the room! His eyes are so beautiful and big!He sucks on his lower lip. He is perfect and we are in love with him now more than ever! I couldn't stop thinking about how big of a miracle he is and how big of a miracle it was for us to be meeting him ! God has pushed us and we are so thankful! This is only a God sized dream!!

The one word I have to describe it is, Eucharisteo which means grace joy and thanksgiving always precedes the miracle!

This was only the first day!!!! God is Good! Thank you all for the Love and support!

We are coming baby boy!

We got the news today that we get to come and meet you!!! I can not tell you how excited we are!! We have less than 5 days to get ready!! Axum we are so thankful! We prayed and prayed we asked God to give us a court date on the 9th!! He did one better he gave us a court date on the 8th! My God is so big !

Lord, Thank you!

Getting Closer

I am so excited to know that our next step is getting to meet our super sweet little man! We are awaiting the call any day to find out our court date! He is doing so good, he is always got the biggest smile when we get his new pics! God is so Good!

 

Thank you Lord for being our Shepard you never leave us! Your love is bigger than we could ever imagine! Thank you for blessing us with Axum, we are so excited for our next step Lord! Thank you for surrounding us with amazing family and friends they are so supportive ! You are so mighty!
Amen

3 Months!

Axum,
It has been 3 months today since we  first got to see your sweet face in pictures! Wow! You are around  9-10 months old, 16lbs and 28 '' long! You also have 4 teeth! Every picture  we get of you, you are smiling and so happy! I can't wait for the the Lords perfect timing and we get to hold you! We did a little shopping for you the other day. We had so much fun, Payton found a mini pillow pet that is just like his, for you! We got you the cutest little winter coat. Raegan wanted you to have Santa PJ's. I know that you might not be here for Christmas but you still need Christmas Jammie's. We also found the same little football you are holding in one of the pictures. In the pic the football looks so big and as I hold it in my hands it is actually very little. It is also so cool to see things hanging on little hangers in your closet!

Lord, Thank you for this journey, a journey that  I thought was you changing our plans for the better! Now I know that through faith as we grow our plans become your dreams, and as we listen our dreams together are your blessings!  Amen

Just a little Advice.

I found this on another blog and wanted to be able to read it when ever I would need it. I also thought it would be good to share with family and friends

                                                                                                                                                              

Guest Post by Jen Hatmaker

This morning, I got a panicked email from my dear friend who just had the fast-forward button pressed on her adoption. They are now throwing jackets and socks and toys and granola bars into


suitcases and paying through the nose for tickets to Ethiopia to go fetch their two new daughters.












What hair products do I bring?

What food should I have in the freezer?

How are we going to talk to each other??

Am I going to be able to pull this off?

Please, please tell me this is going to be okay.


We are only six months home with our two Ethiopians, ages 8 and 6. So we’re clearly experts (sarcasm). All at once, it seems our panicked overseas trip was a million years ago and one nanosecond ago. In preparation, I read all the books and joined the online groups and went to the conferences and logged in to the podcasts. I obsessed over all the things I was supposed to obsess over: their names, their hair, their language, their food, their shoe sizes, their bedding. I read blogs and articles and became fake BFF’s with Dr. Karyn Purvis (in my head). I drove everyone mad with my myopic perspective, which was: “We’re adopting. There is nothing else.” We theoretically readied the house and everyone who lived in it.

Then we actually got them and brought them home.

Whoa, Nelly.

I mean, WHOA, NELLY.

Remember when you were pregnant with your first baby, and you registered for ten-thousand pieces of baby paraphernalia you read about in Consumer Digest, and then you birthed the actual baby and realized the “wipe warmer” dried out your wipes, the Diaper Genie was actually a complicated piece of crap, all those 0-3 month dresses were useless because she hardly made it out of her filthy onesie, and she actually had visceral hatred for the $150 baby swing? And what you really needed to know was how can I get this dadgum baby to sleep and can someone help me understand what is happening to my nipples, for the love of Moses??

This phenomenon applies to adoption as well, folks.

Sure, you need to direct some energy to the details, so here is a quick summary:

Hair: wide tooth comb, water bottle (hair must be thoroughly wet before you comb through it each morning), crème (thank you, Lord, that the $60 Miss Jessie’s Baby Buttercream is too heavy for my Remy and the best stuff is the Shea Butter for $5 at Target). If you have a boy, shave it short and worry with it later. If you have a girl, get it braided before you leave the country and worry with it later. (You are going to have WAY bigger fish to fry when you first get home.) I took a hair class called “Brown Babies, Pink Parents.” Could you die?

Skin: Don’t even play with some silly vanity lotion from Bath and Body Works. Their skin will actually mock it and kick it in the face. Go big here: Eucarin Aquafor, Arbonne for Kids, Cetaphil. Every morning. Every night. Ask around for suggestions. I put this question out on Facebook and got 187 responses. I wish I were kidding.

Food: You are going to have good luck with whole foods. Our littles didn’t even know what processed food was. They eat like sane people in Ethiopia, meaning, well, real food. You know, that was grown. Our kids ate eggs, avocados, tropical fruit, beef, chicken, sweet potatoes, and stuff like that until I figured out how to cook some of their favorites. Your son can eat ten avocados a day for three weeks and live. Um, I’ve heard.

Language: Please believe me, this will not be the struggle you think. God hardwired children’s brains to acquire language, and acquire it quickly they do. We had flip cards of common Amharic words we used at first, but communication developed so easily and quickly, we were yammering along in no time. Although I do miss the theatrics and charades we used at first. You have not lived until your husband acts out “how to wipe correctly.”

Clothes: Please don’t spend (or let your friends spend) a ton of money on clothes before they get home. 1.) Their sizes are quirky. 2.) They grow and gain weight so quickly once you get them. Like, freakish growth. 3.) They have a FASHION OPINION. My daughter, five when we brought her home, turned up her nose at half the darling things in her closet and absolutely refused to wear them, and I was all you were in an orphanage two weeks ago, Miss Project Runway! Just get a few basics and fill in the gaps once they are home.

Now. Onto the real business.

Dear one, it is not the shoes and skin and hair and food you need to devote the most energy toward: It is their heart. No matter what age your child comes to you, abandonment runs deep and the wounds are severe. Broken biological attachment breaks something in our children, and it is the work of the heavens to fuse it back together.

Your child will come to you scared and alone and ashamed and insecure. At best. Our darlings were loved and held and nursed when they were babies, Jesus be praised, so they learned healthy attachment when it mattered. The pathways were formed, and we are finding them again together, day by day. We are learning to tap into the deposits of trust and security they once enjoyed, though they were so brutally interrupted.

But even with this potential for healthy attachment, our first two months home were difficult beyond words. Our kids were terrified. And who could blame them? They found themselves in a foreign land speaking a foreign language with foreign people who ate a lot of cheese (note: dairy products = no). They were sad and scared and overwhelmed and lost. We kind of all were.

Here are some tips that helped pull us through the mire. These things matter:

Stay home. I mean it. Stay the heck home. Cancel your calendars. Pull out of everything you’re involved in. Temporarily quit your small group and your Bible study and your volunteer position at church on Wednesdays and your gym classes. Katy, bar the door. Circle the wagons with your little family and hunker down. Do not take your newbie to Target. Do not drag them to public places. Do not spend two hours in the car running errands with them. Keep the moving parts to an absolute minimum.

Keep visitors at bay for awhile. Your child doesn’t know you yet. A lot of revolving faces simply reinforces the notion that people come and go, and he is alone. Yes, these people love you and love your child. They are thrilled he is home and care so deeply. You know that. He doesn’t. Tons of smiling, oversized, touchy strangers constantly in and out make for a nervous, insecure child. Our friends left dinner on our porch and texted us. Our parents chomped at the bit waiting, while we worked our way through the early storm of transition. God bless them.

To that end, prepare your family and friends in advance for this very important attachment plan: No one touches, kisses, holds, or meets the needs of your new one except you and your spouse. No one. Tell them in advance and explain why. Your child needs to learn right away that you are his mother and father. YOU ARE. You will meet his needs. You will hold him when he cries. He belongs to you, and you are forever. He is coming from a multiple-caregiver situation, so if twenty strangers hold and kiss and feed him and rock him in his new environment, nothing has changed at all. He will struggle to attach to you because you are not his sole caregiver. This principle is not permanent, but it is so necessary at first. Tell your family and friends to give him a “high five” and that’s about the end of it for a bit.

Know this: Those first few weeks and months will more than likely be difficult. They might be downright disastrous. You will struggle through feelings and emotions you didn’t know you were capable of. You will cry. They will cry. They may absolutely spaz out actually. You will wonder if your life is ruined or if happiness will ever return to your home. Beloved, IT WILL. It so will. They are grieving and processing and transitioning. It’s just hard – on them, on you, on the bio kids if you have them. There is no magic formula that will skirt your family around this chaos.

But you will emerge.

Your child will learn to trust you. God will begin to mend the broken pieces. He can do this. He is big enough to put a heart back together. You will discover love bubbling up in the cracks, transforming you from this clunky, awkward, uncertain group of people to a family. You’ll watch as her real self emerges, peeking out from behind the fear and loss. You may even realize that like an idiot, you though she was shy, and she is actually a firecracker (Jen raises hand). Your son will start to sing again, and he may become the adorable soccer star you’ve always dreamed of (Jen raises hand).




Then one day, you have this day; it’s just a day. The kids, all five of them – the three bio kids and the two newest Hatmakers – all go to school and come home competing for space to talk about how fun Dr. Suess Day was and the Million Minute Read project they are doing so their librarian, Mr. McCarthy, will shave his head, and they walk in and dump their backpacks where I told them not to and grab a snack, teasing each other. Then ten minutes later, their friends start knocking on the door like they always do, racing to the trampoline and inventing some sort of Dodge Ball Trampoline Game that will make at least two kids cry, but I’ll ignore it because I told them no crying if you’re going to roughhouse. Then I sayhomework and they are all aw, man, but in they come, sitting at the table, doing math and reading English words and writing English sentences and saying, “I know about to and two and too now, Mom. Is easy for me.” And we eat dinner, seven of us around the table, playing “high/low”, talking about our days, and the new eight-year old says his low was when his big brother got hurt, and that makes me melt just a bit. Then an hour later, I’m tucking them in with kisses and snuggles and the little one, with an arm snaked around my neck, prays Dear God, tank you for my mom. She’s a cute mom. She’s my best mom. And for all my family. And for Texas. Dear God, amen. And the brown brother prays Tank you for my friends and dis good food. Tank you for mom who cooks dis good food. Help us be kind. Amen. And they drop right to sleep, safe in their beds, no nightmares for months now. And I come downstairs and look at my husband and think:




We’re doing it. We’re a family. God made us into a family.








You’ll get there too, dear one. God will make a family out of you yet. Stay the course. May God continue to bring beauty from ashes in our stories, giving the world a picture of grace and redemption and healing.

All His mercy and goodness to you today.

2 Months

    
Axum,
         So it's been just a little over 2 Months since we found out about you! We have been getting very precious updates almost weekly. You look so healthy and happy! You are around 8-9 Months old now, Wow,  buddy you are getting so big! You are about 16 lbs and 26 inches long! Everyone keeps saying he's going to be a basketball player! You have 3 big boy teeth and are sitting up all by yourself. Oh and I can't forget that you got a haircut! Axum we look at your pics every day, probably 50 times a day!! We pray for you and everyone that is around you!! Your brother and sister are so excited to get you home! Raegan will look at your pics and smother you with kisses! The other day I heard Payton telling someone about your name. He was so proud. I try to imagine what life is going to be like with you here with us and I get so excited! I thank my Mighty God everyday that he has blessed us with you! We are so lucky to have you in our lives!! We love you buddy!! CAN'T WAIT TO HOLD YOU, AND KISS YOU, AND LAY OUR HANDS ON YOU AND PRAY WITH YOU!!!!!!

Lord we are so thankful for the amazing miracle of adoption. We are so excited Lord that you choose us to be Axum's family. We ask Lord you continue to surround him and his family in Ethiopia with protection and health. Father please continue to move mountains to get us to him and him to us!! Thank you Lord.  AMEN

Questions

I was telling someone about you, Baby A. I was so excited and oozing happiness all over! This person who I am sure didn't understand how it sounded when she said "so why didn't his mom want him?" I didn't know what so say! It stumped me, I am sure I looked confused I have never ever thought your birth mom did not want you! I have always known that people have circumstances that we will never know! But this question has been on my mind and this is what I want you to know Baby A!

Your birth mom, the first person to really love YOU, the first person who got to feel YOU from the inside of her. She Baby A Loved YOU first ! She made the most important first choice for YOU! Your birth mom had choices, she could of kept YOU and tried to give YOU what she didn't have, she could of just left YOU somewhere, but she choose the most selfless choice! She chose what was best for YOU, to give YOU the best! What she wanted for YOU is LIFE ! She wanted everything for you!

She loves YOU just as much as we do! We love you so much!! So many people love you ! Baby A YOU are soo loved!

August

This is the month of birthdays in our house! Payton, Raegan, and I all get to celebrate the day we were born!! Usually I am super excited  to have a get together or  a big party, "yep here comes the BUT" but I am struggling.

It has been so exciting telling everyone about our new son and getting to see updates every week! We think he is  perfect. The one question everyone asks is when is his Birthday? And when I say we  don't know it breaks my heart. We don't know when he was born or where. We don't know if his birth mom had any help or if there was even doctor, probably not!

So birthdays are looking a different to me these days. Birthdays look more like something we have made into something completely separate than what it is. I want to celebrate the fact that we were born in place were God is my Savior and he died so that I may be free! I want to celebrate the life God has blessed me with, the heart he has broken to be his hands and feet.  I am not worthy of this life !

Thank you Lord for loving us so much. We are so amazed by your grace! We are  weak without you! With you Lord we have so much to Celebrate!!!!

Prayers

First let me say Thank You to all of you that have been praying for us! We have been surrounded by so much love and support! God has blessed us with amazing brothers and sisters in Christ! We have been overwhelmed by God's out pouring of Love through all of you! This little man has already blessed so many people's lives! This is all God people, this is his story! God gets all the Glory !!!

We just heard that the Ethiopian Courts are not Closing until August 22, which is so good! So many families will get court dates that didnt' think they would! Praise God! Normally the rainy season goes from the beginning of Aug Thur Sept. So we might have a God size chance to make it before Aug 22. We are praying that if this is God's will we will get a Court date to meet our son and complete trip one! So please pray with us !!!
Pray that as many children as possible get to meet their forever families!!
Pray that the Ethiopian farmers still receive as much rain as they need to keep their crops bountiful!
Pray that God's will be done!!

God is bigger than we know! He does miracles everyday! I believe it would be a miracle for us to get a Court date before the closure, I know that by faith I will ask him! Please Join us in praying!!!!

More

We got updated pics of you today! You are perfect and so precious! I can't even begin to explain how much we already Love you! I show everyone your picture, I am so proud to be your mom! You have amazing Big brown eyes and beautiful lips! You are 13.4 lbs and 26'' long!!! And you have 2 teeth!

We were not expecting to get a new update until we got a court date, but once again God surprised us and Axum got moved to the Foster Care Home!! Yea!!! That is good for many reasons, 1 He will get amazing care there and 2 we will get more updates and pics! God is so Good and His timing is so perfect!

Lord we are so thankful! We ask that you continue to be our Shepard and lead us with your strength ! Protect all the wonderful people taking care of our new son! Thank you for your Love!

It's a BOY !!!!!

He is perfect and healthy and I can't stop staring at his picture!!

Psalm 107:15
Let them give thanks to the LORD for His lovingkindness, And for His wonders to the sons of men!

We have been blessed with a little 6-7 month old son! He has beautiful brown eyes and the cutest smile! We are in awe of how great our God is !!! We officially accepted the referral! We have talked with Pediatrician and she believes everything looks good! I can not believe this I just keep gazing at his picture!

Thank you Lord you are so Good and Faithful! Lord I ask that you continue to move mountains for all children and families waiting! Lord thank you!!!

Perfectly Ruined Plans

I keep thinking about how we got to this point. How did Josh and I go from "only having two kids" to being in the process of Adopting from Ethiopia. Seriously I am struggling to wrap my head around it! Josh and I had plans! Planes of moving up in the "world". Having more stuff! Giving our children everything !

I want to ask Pastors that I have heard giving the sermon that says, Are you living for you? Or are you living for God? Are you being his hands and feet? They need to have a continued sermon with help full hints on what to do if you are! I have now heard similar sermons by 3 different teachers. I wanted to hear at the end of these sermons, if YOU are walking by faith and YOU have gotten out of the boat and you are swimming with only one life guard! Hang on! This is not easy! This not going to look like anyone Else's story. God is writing it very specific to you! People will not understand, they will look at you differntly, they will think you are crazy! Obviously not everyone is going to be obsessed with children in Africa! I often feel like I am on a one passenger crazy train! Asking why me lord? Why have you broken my heart for these children? I know that their are better people for this mission Lord! When you step out in faith, Lot's and Lot's of storms will come. You will feel weak and not worthy. You will feel lonely. BUT the only way to fight the storm is to build your self a shelter. One made up his words and his promises. He will protect you! You may still get hurt, or feel pain. His word is full of promises! He is perfect and faithful! I will fall and need help getting up again. He will not leave me. He has great plans for me. His plans, not mine. I cannot compete with worldly plans I will be let down every time! When I know that I am following his plan it feels right. I want a Warning Label sermon that says don't be afraid of the roller coaster ride called faith. Because God is your seat belt and it feels really good when you can throw your hands in the air and free fall knowing that this is God's will!!!!!!!

Dossier Complete "Again"

Well he did it again! My amazing husband got all of our paper work done and complete!! This time around we had a better understanding of what we needed, but our new agency required more to be  done on our part. As of today we have sent it all in!  Dossier complete!! We are one step closer again!! God has  blessed us with so much comfort in this new  direction. He continues to confirm that he is leading and we are following! Tomorrow will be 12 months waiting!

Lord we are so thankful that you have our journey mapped out! Thank you for being our fearless leader. Lord we stand in awe of your blessings!! We ask you to continue to protect your very sweet children in Ethiopia! They need you and I ask that you move mountains to connect them with  their forever families where ever they are Lord!

Sunday

On Sunday we were visiting a Church, it's  not "our" church but this  is where we were lead on Sunday. It was hard for us to get their, it felt weird and uncomfortable. We had hesitation, but once we got their we began to worship and praise our Amazing God! The Pastors sermon was part of a series called  Do you get it ? He was reading from Matthew 15:21-28 Where a Canaanite women had come to Jesus because she had a sick daughter. She begged him 3 times for help and the first time he didn't answer the second he told her he was sent to only help the lost from Israel, the third he said "that it's not right  to take the children's food and feed it to the dogs." I was sitting their thinking what was Jesus doing? Was this because she was a Canaanite and not an Israelite? But then the women says, "Even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters table", And Jesus Replies,  "Women you have great faith Your request is granted", and her daughter was healed.

I think Jesus was pleased with her faithfulness! She didn't give up! She knew that it didn't matter where she was from, or what she looked like, or the color of her skin, she had FAITH in him! The pastor went on to say that  Jesus has A Love Beyond Borders! He said it over and over A Love Beyond Borders! It was flashing on the screens!! AT THAT POINT JOSH AND I LOOKED AT EACH OTHER WE COULD NOT BREATH!!!!!!!

 Here is why, for the last couple months we have been feeling like we were suppose to change directions with our adoption by going to a different agency. It was  hard and we felt like we would be starting all over. We felt like this was what God was asking us to do. We had a lot of road blocks and obstacles. We felt satin fighting us every step of the way!  But we did it! We have Started over with another agency, we are 1week from having all the paper work done!!! We are excited and exhausted!

The Agency we have been with now for 4 weeks is A LOVE BEYOND BORDERS!  Crazy right! How amazing is our God! How amazing is his LOVE BEYOND BORDERS!

Side step...

 It has been 1year 3 months and 3weeks since we started on this faithful journey!
It has been such a beautiful journey of ups and downs. Our faith has been tested to say the least! Our faith is being strengthened. We have had to put up our shield of faith and know that it will be exactly as God said it will be. We are still going through the storm, but God is still protecting us.

We are listening to his guidance, he is requesting us to take a step sideways, I have felt like he has been preparing us for this, for months. I wanted to jump when I first felt like this but, Josh has faithfully said we need to wait on the Lord and for is guidance. So by waiting I feel like we are doing exactly what he was asking. Getting to this point was hard and painful, and we didn't just get an email from God with the plan, that would be nice though, instead we got his words in the form of scripture. It amazes me how many times I can read a verse and how many times the same verse  changes to guide me in this journey.

^{Romans 4:18
18} Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, “So shall your offspring be.”^[a] 

Judges 6:12
¹² When the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon, he said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior. ”

Matthew 18:19-20

¹⁹ “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. ²⁰ For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

I am excited for this step, it is still scary but I feel good, I feel like this is pleasing to God!

Thank you Lord for loving us! Your love is amazing and gracious. We need you always! May this next chapter be your will God, let this be your story through us. To you be the Glory Savior!

Family Photo

This  is NOT the picture on the wall, this is one of the most recent ones I could find!

I have been staring at a family photo on the wall,  from 3 years ago thinking how much we have all changed. How at that time we thought that our little family was complete. How God had not even began to stir in our hearts about adoption. I remember that morning getting ready for pictures it was crazy and stressful! Mainly because I wanted everything to be just right, little did I know that God was still making plans for our family. Our family is not yet complete ! I can not tell you what our new family picture will look like only God knows! But I can't wait ...........................

11 months

Most of the things God promises to do in our lives usually takes longer than we thought it would, hurts more than we thought we could ever stand, and cost more than we ever thought we could sacrifice! It's FAITH its worth it!

Lord, I am lifting my shield of faith! I know that the plan you have for us Lord is big, it so Good and so amazing that only you could orchestrate it. I believe and know that we will see the outcome of our faith! Joy is powerful, more powerful then the enemy! I am doubting all doubt, We will not stop praying and asking and seeking you Lord! With you Lord we will not be defeated! LOVE ALWAYS WINS!

It's been awhile!

10 months!

Nothing has changed well except the wait times, 14 to 20 months they are saying. We are still waiting on the Lord!  We are listening and praying! Waiting for the next foot print.

His Grace Is Sufficient

Wait

By Russel Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I plead and I wept for a clue to my fate...
and the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I can relate
hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?
I'm needing a 'Yes', a go ahead sign.
Or even a 'No', to which I'll resign.

You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,and I grumbled to God, "So I'm waiting...for what?"

Then He seemed to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause the mountains to run.

I could give you all that you seek and pleased would you be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence are all that you see.

You'd never experience the fullness of love
when the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and that I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask.
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
what it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
but oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.

So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
that the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though often my answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still "Wait."

Casting Crowns - If we've ever needed you

This song is our cry to you Lord! We need you now! We need the flood gates to open in Ethiopia Lord, your children need families, we need to teach them your love and  grace Lord. Show us what we need us to do, guide us in the right direction, no Lord just take us in the right direction!
Thank Lord for loving us, thank you for your grace! We Love You Father!

Christa Wells: How Emptiness Sings live performance at Northview Church,...

Month 8

There is an emptiness inside of me. It is being saved for you sweet one(s). It is a place that has been made special for you. Just as it was for Payton and Raegan. It is where we can walk hand in hand, where we will get to laugh and giggle together, even cry together. But for now my sweets it is a song. A song from the King. This is His beautiful music! We are making it as we wait for each other! A song of patience and strength. A song of true love. Like the love He has for us! Very special Love!

BUILDING THE BLOCKS...

Life Changing!!!
BUILDING THE BLOCKS...

Seven

Seven months!

Seven months waiting for our precious gift(s) from God!

It sound like our agency is processing around five referrals a month. We are around 40 in line. So if things keep going at this pace we have about 7 more months of waiting. I can't imagine this getting any easier, so with the strength and grace of God we are thankful for each day! God has surrounded us with amazing family and friends to encourage us and hold us up!

Thank you Lord!

Lord, we are thankful for the time you have given us! Lord help us! Remind us to take each day as the precious gift it is! Thank you Lord for loving us with your unconditional Love! Lord thank you for believing in us when we do not believe in ourselves!

Amen !!

Six

Month 6 has been hard! I have this feeling of discontent. I feel alone!  I know that I am not! I know that I am not the first person to feel like this or to go through these feelings. It's hard and nothing about this prosess is easy.

<sup>1 Peter 1:6-8

6</sup> In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. ⁷ These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. ⁸ Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,